One topic comes up again and again in conversations with leaders: how to give and receive constructive feedback.

When Positive Isn’t Enough

Being positive is easy. Telling someone their work was good, thanking them for their effort, celebrating a win — none of that takes much courage. Constructive criticism is different. It’s uncomfortable, and the natural temptation is to put it off, to wait for a better moment that somehow never arrives.

But without feedback, teams stay blind to their own development areas. They can’t improve what they can’t see, and the manager is usually the person best placed to show them, in a way that’s both useful and encouraging. This isn’t just a nice idea, either. Research shows that people who receive direct feedback from their managers are four times more likely to be engaged in their jobs.

Three Rules for Better Difficult Conversations

So if putting off difficult conversations sounds familiar, here are three things worth keeping in mind:

• First, be clear about your point. Before you say anything, ask yourself what you want the person to think, feel, and do as a result of the conversation. Vague feedback rarely leads to real change.
• Second, stick to the facts. Constructive feedback works best when it stays about the specific behaviour or outcome, not the person. Don’t personalise it, and don’t let it become political.
• Third, look forward, not behind. Nothing improves by dwelling on what went wrong. What matters is making sure everyone is clear on what needs to happen differently next time.

Give Feedback, Encourage Growth

If you find yourself anxious about raising something with a member of your team, remember that feedback, given well, is a positive thing. Far from resenting it, most people are grateful for the chance to grow. Delaying it doesn’t protect them; it just delays their development.

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